accompanied by an explanation/narrative. I'd be more than happy to post up good
photos that some of you have, if you'll send them to me. My email address is
jeffdahlin@yahoo.com. Enjoy!
dogs as a primary menu dish. Sometimes these dogs are visible to customers, and the
hungry patrons can point at a particular cage and choose which pooch they'd like to eat.
That's why this photo is so precious. Not because I think Asians would want to point at
Dave and eat him (what kind of racist bastard do you think I am?), but because I think
Dave likes the idea of being caged and then eaten. You can't tell from the photo but
he's got a huge erection right here.
Demolition Derby. Amity had just eaten a giant corndog and we just happened to walk
by this sign. Jason, being the quick-witted lad that he is, immediately pointed at Amity
and created a great photo opportunity. But Amity pointed back at him, lessening the
effect of Jason's point, and thus ruining the impact of the photo. Fuck you Amity.
say that nothing bad actually happened. What a mindfuck! Six feet deep!
when this dude walks up to me and hands me a pen with a note attached to it. The
note said:
"Hello. I am deaf. Please help me make a living by donating a few dollars for this pen.
God Bless You!"
I said, "Oh, you're deaf, well of course I'll give you money!" and I gave him every cent I
had in my pocket (except for the $6 I needed for the beer). I thought it was kind of
funny but then I had an idea, "an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began
to know what I was talking about."
to random fair-goers and handed them the pen, trying to look as pathetic as I could.
And it totally worked! These chicks pulled out three bucks and held it out to me,
but I couldn't keep a straight face and walked away laughing. I pulled the scam a
few more times before hitting up Jason for money to buy more beer, since I had
given all of my cash away.
great taco shop in Rosarito. The food is good, they let us sneak beer in from the
liquor store next door, and we get to see our favourite fat kid grow up a little more
each year. All day, this kid watches cartoons and...well, that's about it. These two
pictures are three years apart. When I first met him, he was only knee high. Look
at him in 2006 (right hand photo)--he'll be driving cars before long. Or at least
driving a cart pulled by a donkey painted to look like a zebra.
Alvino's house and she totally hit it off with Shane. She was cute and she
seemed really cool. Everyone noticed her, and we all thought "Wow, maybe
there's a new girlfriend in Shane's future!"
But then Shane continued to drink and kind of forgot about her, and eventually
she left, and no one ever saw her again. Bukolt and I still see this picture and
think, "Nice one Shane, you totally fucking blew it, pal".
about ten thousand drunks with outrageous custom 4x4's. One year, my
brother Jon came and brought some quads, a dirt bike, and this little ATC.
Naturally, we gave Bukolt the ATC and it was highly entertaining to watch him
putt around on this dangerous vehicle. I asked Jason to pose like this because
I hired him to paint me a very similar painting that I can hang as a centerpiece
in my living room. We totally ripped off the idea from 'The Royal Tenenbaums".
incredibly pissed off about some people who got on an elevator before him,
even though he had been waiting for it. Damn, he was so mad! When Dave
loses his temper, it really is a sight; I highly recommend seeing him in this state
if you have the chance. I was so glad that I had my camera with me for this
episode that I didn't even mind when he opened up his laptop and showed
everyone a video of (no joke) a bunch of German people eating human shit.
getting grumpy and that he was being a dick to everyone (which I totally made
up). Jason said, "Well, he'd better not fuck with me, because I won't put up
with it." My reply was "He's already been talking shit about you, what are you
going to do about it?"
A few hours later, we were eating in a diner, and I could tell Jason had been
thinking about it. Shane made some offhand asshole comment towards Jason
and they started scuffling a little, but they were smiling and joking around. But
I knew things were going to escalate fast. Other patrons in the diner were
starting to get pissed off at the disturbance they were creating. Check out the
guy in the background of the above photo.
to pull them apart but he was just too weakened by a day of hard drinking. At
this point, the employees of the diner were getting visibly nervous and our
table was the focus of the entire establishment.
could take this photo, which I think is one of the best pictures I've ever taken.
You can tell that these guys are no longer fucking around. I was completely
entertained, but at the same time I knew I had to keep the camera going or I
was going to regret it forever.
Eventually, the manager of the diner came to the table and said we had to
leave. Jason and Shane calmed down a little and even starting laughing at
themselves. But I was glad I didn't set down my camera then, because that's
when two policemen entered the diner and walked to our table...
was kind of scary taking this picture as the two uniformed cops bore down on
our table, but I couldn't stop without getting this last one. We ended up
having to leave the diner really quickly and I called Ashley to come pick us up
before we all got arrested.
to bed at night, I'll creep up to his door and press my ear against it to listen. On
nights that I'm really lucky, I can hear him singing softly as he goes to sleep:
I'm so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone / There's no one / Just
me onry / Sitting on my rittle throne / I work very hard to be number one guy /
but, stiwr there's no one to right up my rife / Seems rike no one takes me
serirousry / And so, I'm ronery / A rittle ronery / Poor rittle me / There's no one I
can rerate to / Feewr rike a biwd in a cage / It's kinda siwry / but, not reawry /
because, it's fiwring my body with rage / I'm the smartest, most crever, most
physicawry fit / but, none of the women seem to give a shit / Maybe someday,
they'wr awr notice me / And untiwr then, I'wr be ronery / Yeah, a rittle ronery /
Poor rittle me...
Other nights, when I listen through Pete's door, I just hear him jacking off
furiously and slapping himself in the face as he reaches climax.
in Long Beach (my favourite bar) and he had been expertly talking game to
this girl for about an hour before I noticed that he was going to make a move.
Usually, Gute's far too drunk for this kind of thing, so it's kind of a special
occasion when I see it happen. I turned my camera on and waited for Gute to
lean in for a kiss. There were a couple of false starts, where I started to raise
the camera but quickly put it back down because he didn't go for it. I actually
had to put my drink down and concentrate solely on watching these two so I
wouldn't miss it. Finally, Gute went in for the kill and I stood on my barstool to
get a good vantage. I snapped the photo and got a perfectly framed shot, and
now this first kiss is frozen in time, to be used however I see fit.
Gute never heard from the girl after that night, but not long after that , he had
some crazy weekend where he had 3 or 4 different hookups, so what does he
care?
Denny’s with her and a few of her friends, hammered at that point when we
left Denny’s she said “Where do you live?” Not paying complete attention to
her tone she said “These guys live in HB too” So I jumped in their truck and
asked for a ride home.
I talked to her one time after that.
Then about 3 months later this girl at work goes “Do you ever go to Punk
Rock Karaoke?” I said yes and she goes “I just met this girl at my church, and
we were talking, I told here where I worked, and she asked if I knew a tall guy
named Matt Guten-something, I described you and she said Yeah, I kissed
him at a bar, and at the end of the night he jumped in one of my friends cars to
take him home.”
ask all of you to send me photos, so I can post a new entry next
month. I really want to get some good ones of Mark Rademeyer. If
you care to, please leave a message in my guestbook (below).
Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to explain the whole Jennifer Love
Hewitt thing. I did start talking to her again (very briefly) but it didn't
take long for me to realize that she still has the same issues that
caused all the problems earlier, and that's something I just don't need
in my life right now. She's a sweet girl and I hope she finds someone
who is interested in being the type of boyfriend that she seems to
need, but I am removing myself from that whole situation. So that's
the story everyone, stop asking me about it!